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Bondage

Première partie : Bondage – Les bases du ligotage

Cette série d’articles n’est malheureusement disponible qu’en allemand et en anglais. Il nous manque un traducteur pour une traduction en français. Si vous ne parlez aucune de ces deux langues et que vous voulez absolument lire ces articles, vous pouvez utiliser Google Translate ou DEEPL, qui sont actuellement les meilleurs traducteurs automatiques disponibles sur le marché.

For many of us, it all started with a piece of rope. It’s in every household and it’s easy to get more. There are so many everyday uses for it that no one is irritated when they see you with it – or draws embarrassing conclusions when you ask for it in the DIY store.

Whether you are tying yourself up or a playmate, a rope is probably the first piece of real bondage equipment you lay your hands on. Bondage and ropes are so intertwined in our language that we also talk about “tying up” when we’re doing it with leather or steel.

Ropes have something originally wild, but also exciting. Nothing makes you feel as hot as a tightly tied rope when it tightens around your arms and legs or around your breathing chest.

Bondage

Good rope bondage is low priced, good, effective and not particularly difficult. But why then do we see so much bad bondage – unaesthetic, unintentionally painful or unsafe? The cover photo of Bound & Gagged #54 (see right) shows a nice example: the rope around the torso is quite acceptable, but look at the wrist bondage – the wrists crossed (instead of palms facing) and the knot is within easy reach of the fingers!

Is there anyone among the readers who needs more than 30 seconds to free himself from this? The ropes around the feet are pulled so haphazardly, as if the guy who tied him up no longer felt like finishing his job sensibly. And besides – what is keeping our naked young man safely in his place on the ladder? Nothing! The whole pose is like an accident waiting to happen. No wonder he looks so scared.

For an example of what I call good rope bondage – safe, effective and elegant – see the photo on page 48 of the same issue (or below).

Bondage
technically good bondage

I think there are two main reasons that technically good rope bondage is not as common as it should be. Firstly, it is not as foolproof as e.g. handcuffs or leather restraints with padlocks. It needs some preparation, planning and care in execution. Secondly, many people shy away from learning rope bondage because they are not that skilled with knots. They mistakenly assume that they would not get decent results unless they mastered a dozen or more complicated techniques with strange names like “bowline” or “sailor’s knot”.

Rise above things, boys! Good rope bondage doesn’t just look hot. It works through itself, even if nothing else happens. If you’re active or playable on both sides, you’ll simply have more dates – and more satisfied victims begging for a repeat – if you’ve mastered the basics of bondage. And even if you’re totally passive (although how many still can state that todays?), it will help if you know how to use the rope, because you can teach your playmates how to do.

The Material

You have two options: braided cotton and braided nylon. Experienced bondage masters prefer cotton. Firstly, it becomes pleasantly soft when you wash it a few times in the machine (experienced housewives recommend Persil 😏). Secondly, cotton is not as smooth as nylon and less slippery. That’s why knots hold better – but also constrict deeper.

Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to get ropes made of pure cotton. Nylon ropes are available in the camping and nautical supplies departments of all major department stores. They are sleek enough to use without preparation. Twisted ropes are too stiff for comfortable bondage, so avoid them.

Ropes made of hemp are rougher and should only be used over clothing. Otherwise there is a risk of skin abrasions, which can get infected, and then it becomes unsafe.

Thickness and length

How thick should a bondage rope be? 8-10 mm is suitable for most purposes. Ropes that are too thin incise and can injure nerves and blood vessels. Thicker ropes are useful for a body harness because they distribute the pressure better when individual strands are tied tightly around the body. Later on we will see that ropes should be wrapped around the limbs several times.

The most sensible length for a bondage rope is between two and four metres. To restrain a person, several short ropes are more useful than a single, long one.  There is no easy way to maintain the tension of the rope over a long distance. This is also the reason why a body harness, which requires a single, very long rope, can only be done by an experienced bondage master.

In ordinary bondage, you concentrate on the four limbs. With a single, long rope, you already exhaust yourself making a loop after each wrap. And if you leave your subject to writhe and squirm on his own for a moment, he will free himself despite all your efforts.

By the way, most skin abrasions happen when you pull the rope along your body when tying or untying. The solution: When pulling the rope, always pull away from the body! Also watch out for loose ends. If you wrap too quickly, they are like whips.

If you want to recreate a Japanese rope body harness and can use a search engine, you will find very clear and complete (mostly English) instructions on the web. It’s worth it just for the aesthetic pictures.

Storage and handling of the ropes

Rope ends fray easily. Seal the ends of cotton ropes with liquid rubber or shrink tubing. With nylon ropes, fuse the ends over a flame (be careful! Too much heat produces toxic gases). Wrapping the ends with fabric tape is also sufficient.

If you have a collection of ropes in different lengths, make sure they don’t tangle like a nest of snakes. Nothing is more frustrating than when you’ve hooked up with a hottie and he reaches into your toy box and takes the first half hour to untangle all the knots before the session can begin.

inding up a rope carefully

If you want to wind a rope properly, take the end in your left hand (if you are right-handed), wind the rope over your elbow, palm, elbow and so on. Use your free hand to keep the wraps parallel. Then simply loop the second end around the middle of the “ball” and secure it by sliding it under a loop. Or look at the picture left. However you do it, for role-playing dominance and submission, it is useful if the bottom collects and stores the ropes (and other equipment) after the session.

You simply wrap shorter ropes around one hand and fix them in the same way.

“Loop and Cinch”

»loop-and-cinch«

The key to safe rope bondage is the “loop-and-cinch” technique, no matter if you’re tying two limbs together or just one limb to something else.

With “loop-and-cinch”, all I mean is that you first wrap your objects, hands, feet etc. with a few loose loops of rope. Only then do you close the restraint by wrapping the same rope 90 degrees apart (vertically) between the limbs tightly around the loose loops and then knotting them (see right picture).

How you complete this is up to you! You can start in the middle of the rope and wrap both ends symmetrically. Or you can take the shorter end and wrap the loose loops with the longer end.

The important points are that you 1) do the first loops loosely and only use the vertical wraps at the end to pull the rope tight; 2) you must wrap at least three loose loops before setting the vertical loops. The many loops and the 8-shape of the cross-section ensure that the pressure of the new restraint on nerves and blood vessels is well distributed. After you have finished the rope cuffs, you must still be able to slide a finger underneath, otherwise it will be too tight.

You can use the same technique to tie ankles, legs or arms, wrists and ankles or wrists to the bed, chair, post, tree, ladder or whatever is there. You only need shorter or longer ropes for this.

When you tie hands, make sure that the knot you set at the end is out of reach of your partner’s fingers! It is best to place the knot behind the wrist (see picture above). If you still want to tie his bound hands to his feet, a chair or the bedpost, simply fasten the second rope around the knot of the first rope. This will make it unreachable. You can also put him on socks, gloves or mittens or tape his fingers together before tying the rope. And – of course – tie him up in such a way that he cannot get his tied hands near his mouth (unless you have gagged him beforehand).

loop-and-thread
loop-and-thread

Another basic technique is called “loop-and-thread”. Take the centre of a rope and loop the double rope once around the back of a chair, bedpost or other immovable anchor point. Thread the loose ends through the loop you have made and pull tight. Now you can use the free ends for a loop-and-cinch rope to the arm or leg. Never rope the limbs directly with loop-and-thread, as this loop will tighten under load!

Why knots?

Look down at your shoes. See the loop you tied in your laces this morning? Technically it’s not a knot at all, but it will hold as long as you don’t pull on any of the loose ends. Tie someone up using this loop and as long as they can’t reach the loose ends with their fingers or teeth, it’s just as secure as any knot in the Boy Scout handbook. Important: Nylon rope is too slippery. The loop will loosen on its own.

In my experience there are very few rope bondage problems that you cannot solve with these knots. For these cases, the good old square knot should be useful. You hopefully remember your last summer camp in the scouts: Start with a simple half knot. Turn the rope 180 degrees and tie the second half knot.

However, this knot can become tricky. It’s hard to untie if you’ve pulled on it before, and that’s what happens in bondage games. But if all else fails, take your pocket knife or sharp scissors and cut the rope before anyone gets hurt!

Less is usually more but I won’t stop you from expanding your repertoire if you enjoyed this little knotology. There are plenty of relevant pages on the net.

So far I have explained the basic principles of ropes and bondage. Now we’ll start to have fun! Perhaps the best feature of rope is that it is so versatile. With handcuffs, for example, you basically have only two main options: Cuff his hands in front or behind his back. And there are not many alternatives to using a sleeping bag or a straitjacket.

Rope is different. Experienced masters can reproduce the effects of various leather or metal restraints – and at a small part of the costs.

The main problem with rope bondage is that the ropes have to be tight to be effective. Lock someone in hand and leg irons and he can still move around and perform tasks – like cleaning your boots or the house, preparing and serving food, giving you a massage – while still being securely bound with no escape. Try this with ropes and it won’t take him more than five minutes to escape!

Nevertheless, there are some hints you can use for “working bondage”: For example, you can dress him with thick gloves before you tie his hands one by one and connect them with a longer piece of rope. He will be unable to untie the knots even though they are actually loose. Gag him and he will not be able to use his teeth either. He will stay tied up as long as you keep an eye on him.

Of course, this won’t work with a half knot. At least you have to tie a square knot. You can even leave his hands free and just lash his upper arms tightly to the body – he would have to be Harry Potter to free himself.

For any kind of tight or stationary rope restraint, there is no question that ropes are the best solution. Whether you are tying someone to a ring or restraining him from head to toe. You can do everything with rope that you can with leather or steel, and often better. You can also use a thick, soft rope as a gag, eye patch or head harness.

Bondage and creativity

Practice creates a bondage master! As in every craft and art, only those who have mastered the basic techniques can develop their creativity properly. Without these you will not produce a masterpiece but a mess! The goal is always the same: to restrict a man’s freedom of movement and make him the object of your will – without dead ends, missteps and accidents.

For example, I told you that it makes more sense to use several short ropes than one long one (except for a body harness). So if you have a 30 metre rope and prefer to use it in one piece, go ahead! If you have tied the last knot in this long rope and realise that you would rather untie the first one, go ahead!

With a series of short ropes you can undo intermediate steps without shutting down the whole session. You can intensify his helplessness step by step, but also quickly open a rope again if it becomes uncomfortable or dangerous. Moreover, you don’t have to complete a fully elaborated rope sculpture before you both will enjoy the play.

Classic Positions

Some positions are well known, like the good old “reverse hogtie”, where the guy lies on his stomach with his hands and feet tied behind his back. We all know it and many people have suffered it already. You can do it with a single noose around all four extremities, just like the rodeo cowboys do when they catch a calf. However, they work against the clock. With play bondage you have a lot of time. For the above reasons, it is more effective – and safer – to tie hands and feet separately first and then connect them with a third rope.

There are many ways to intensify this position. You can additionally fix the knees and elbows, pull the head back with a rope gag or a head harness, etc. Never do this with a rope around your neck! Better read my essay Breath-Control first. If you use individual pieces of rope for each additional restraint, you can easily remove one of them when your victim’s limit is reached. You do not have to unleash him completely.

As I explained above, the reverse hogtie can get dangerous if you leave your victim alone, especially if he is overweight, out of condition or out of breath because you had to fight out the distribution of roles. Tying his arms behind his back compresses his lungs and if he is lying on his stomach his own weight compresses him further and makes breathing difficult. When he gets tired after a while, it can even become impossible, especially if you gagged him before.

I would only do so if I stay close to my partner, (awake and alert, not distracted by a book or TV) and I would not extend the session over an hour or two, depending on how he tolerates your treatment. Everyone reacts differently and even a fit boy can’t possibly stand more than 15 or 20 minutes in this position.

You can make the situation easier for him when you lay him on his side. Without the added force of his own weight, he can breathe much easier. And if you rope his hands and feet in front of his body, as is usually done on a ranch when catching a calf or pig, breathing is not restricted at all. There is no reason why a young man without other handicaps (such as diabetes or asthma) could not spend a whole night in this position.

Of course, he will be stiff and hangover next morning!

Hinges and ladders

Let him climb the first rung…

Like the wrists, the human elbows and knees are points where nerves and blood vessels run closely below the surface. Therefore, it is safest to tie elbows and knees using the loop-and-cinch technique mentioned above.  Please avoid ropes that press directly on the soft insides of the joints. This will lead to numbness or even serious damage.

If you don’t tie elbows and knees directly against each other, but individually against something else such as another part of the body, a post or a piece of furniture, it is better to place the ropes a little above and/or below the joint. The thick muscles buffer the pressure of the rope against nerves and blood vessels.

A folding ladder can be a very interesting anchor for a bondage act, especially if you have no other tools to tie someone upright in the open. The only problem is that the ladder can tip over if it is not anchored by the weight of a person. Never tie him up while he is still on the floor. Let him climb the first rung and lean face inwards on the upper rungs. Then fix him in this position. This way his own weight will keep him stable. 

By the way, don’t tie someone to the open side of a folding ladder unless you are standing next to him and can catch him if the ladder threatens to fall over. You can play with his nipples or work on his cock and balls.

A folding ladder also seems to be an ideal whipping post. But this is not the case, because the whole construction is too tippy when the bound person starts to wriggle.

Sit down please!

The best kind of chair for bondage is the simplest: a metal folding chair or a plain wooden chair. Upholstery only covers the structural elements you need for anchoring. If the back is open or has bars, all the better. Chairs with armrests are problematic if you want to tie his hands behind his back. On the other hand, you can easily immobilise him with a loop-and-cinch between the wrist and the armrest. For better security, place a second loop close to the elbow (not too tight!) and tie the upper arms to the backrest.

Photos of chair bondage often show the victim’s feet standing freely on the floor rather than simply tied to the chair legs. The latter is not only a way to intensify the bondage, but also a safety measure. When he has his feet on the floor, it gives him leverage to tilt and push the chair. In doing so, he can either tip over and hurt himself or even escape.

You can reduce the risk of both by bending his legs and roping them to the back legs of the chair or, if necessary, to a connecting piece of wood between them. You don’t have to pull the legs back so far that he is in pain, just so that his feet don’t hit the floor.

Sitting on a hard chair for a long time is uncomfortable. Sometimes it can also become dangerous if too much blood accumulates in the immobilised buttocks and thighs. You can avoid this if you limit this part of the act to two to four hours or make him possible to move a bit on the seat so the blood doesn’t pool. As long as his arms and legs are tightly bound, he can’t escape.

Bed-Bondage

I remember a bondage seminar held in New York many years ago. The title was “101 ways to tie a man to the bed.” No. 13 until 27 started with only three ropes, if I remember correctly. One rope needs 6 metres length, the other two need five. You can wrap them around a mattress, even if it’s right on the floor, to make a bondage bed.

Wrap the longer rope lengthwise around the middle of the mattress and the shorter ropes across it, so that the mattress is divided into thirds. Now you have secure anchors for the arms, legs, upper and lower body, balls, etc. You can use extra ropes, leather restraints or whatever you like. The weight of the mattress and his own weight will prevent him from pulling down the anchoring ropes and as long as he can’t undo the knots or locks holding him, he’s stuck.

A simple variation is to tie his upper body and balls to the long central rope, his hands to the upper rope and his feet to the lower cross rope. You can also reverse this – arms down and legs up so that his ass is ready for spanking and fucking. He can move his arms and legs back and forth a bit, but he can’t get free on his own.

Admittedly, this is not a bombastic construction, but without secure anchors on the bedposts it is otherwise difficult to achieve, especially as not all bedsteads are suitable for this. Furthermore, this is a particularly good technique for travel bondage. You can bring everything you need with you and turn your hotel room into a bondage dungeon without giving alarm at the airport.

The spider web

The most visually interesting and by far the most impressive art of rope bondage is the spider net. Usually this is a criss-cross network of ropes in a square or circular vertical frame. Sometimes it is also placed flat on a bed.

There is no way to describe to you in a comprehensible way how to make such a net, but I have to warn you about a problem with vertical nets: Even if you are very experienced with bondage acts and know exactly what to do, please do not try to hang someone in a net; definitely keep his/her feet on the ground. It is too easy to put a rope in the wrong place. You risk serious nerve damage to your partner! Let him stand on his own two feet and be content to weave the rest of his body into the web. It will still be a mind-blowing event and an unforgettable trip for the bottom.

Take care of burning!

I have warned about this before, but it still happens often enough to be worth a closer look. A rope burn is a combination of a burn (caused by frictional heat) and an abrasion. Minor burns that do not bleed will heal on their own. You just have to watch out for inflammation caused by dirt or germs in the wound. In the case of larger injuries, you should wash off the blood under cold water lateron, cover the wound to keep it free of germs and consult a doctor to be on the safe side.

Of course, the best way to treat these burns is to avoid them. First, please do not use scratchy ropes, e.g. hemp and sisal, on bare skin and work with gloves yourself. When pulling a piece of rope, e.g. to tie a knot, please always pull away from your partner! Finally, when you are the bottom, relax and don’t twist in the ropes. At most, roll into a more comfortable position and enjoy the situation.

Epilogue:

This text may seem very scientific in parts. But that doesn’t mean that you should stand next to your guy with the description in your hand as a “blueprint” and work through the reverse hogtie step by step. For heaven’s sake!

After all, you both want to enjoy the game. As a master, you want to feel how the slave wriggles under your grip, how his resistance weakens when the ropes tighten around his body. And as a slave, you get much more out of an energetic and determined Mack. So just let it happen!

Finally, I wish for you that you always have an object readily available when it comes to putting your newly acquired knowledge into practice!                         

Your Mike

Part 2: Rope history

The word bondage seems to belong to the Anglo-Saxon vocabulary and to the family of S&M practices, but it also has a long history in the French language. Henchmen in medieval France knew at least as many physical and psychological torture variations as their counterparts on the other side of the Channel.

The connection between bondage and sex is not obvious at first glance, because our western civilisation has a rather boring sexual history. Apart from a few small communities, vanilla sex dominated everywhere.

In asia the development went different. In Japan, for example, you can attend evening classes on the art of rope bondage. Technical magazines and mangas (comics) dedicated to the subject can be bought at the kiosk. Bondage is generally considered an art, a cultural heritage to be preserved, and not just a sexual practice.

Fortunately, the last decades have opened up new horizons. Even if many gay people are not yet initiated into this art, they are at least no longer frightened when they come across it, but rather curious.

What is bondage anyway? Is a police officer handcuffing a suspect practising bondage? In its simplest form, perhaps yes. But captivating someone means more than preventing escape or aggression. Much more! Ropes seek to restrict and prevent. Handcuffs can certainly be the starting point of a bondage session but until the body is tied up completely there are plenty of possibilities, each with its own form of fulfilment and its own equipment.

Fulfilment

And what fulfilment is that, to be bound? Physical and psychological, of course!

Andi and Mark are bondage master and slave.

“When the ropes start to restrict me I can no longer move freely, I am at the mercy of my partner and have no hope of escape. He is able to do anything he wants and with any part of my body. Or he just leaves me restrained for a few hours and then comes back to play with me like one does with a toy. He owns me then, neck and crop!”

“I started playing around with him when I put a pair of handcuffs on him from the flea market and observed that it excited me how he struggled to escape. That’s why I wanted to repeat the experience. Today I know that I totally get off when I tie a guy up in such a way that he is completely at my mercy. It may sound crazy but the less my partner can move, the greater the arousal I feel. I get off like this without touching myself simply by looking at the result of my labour. The guy has become my toy.”

“When I feel the ropes closing I know that it excites my partner more and more. Both his fantasy and I excite him – and that excites me, too.”

Not everyone’s experience goes this way. For many, being roped is not fulfilling by itself. Rather, it is one of the basic practices of S&M sessions. Bondage is part of the rites of dominance and submission, a way of humiliating the partner and putting him/her in his/her place – as a toy for the master’s pleasure, bringing the slave into a state of total surrender.

Another point that bondage masters often talk about is the thrill of making a bigger and stronger partner helpless with just a few moves. For others, it is the experience of intimacy and trust: giving someone absolute control over their freedom. They might reach the limit of their fear and desires, especially when the master conducts the session in absolute silence or when he even starts to control the breathing of the bound partner!

Leder-Maske mit abschließbarem Halsband
…in the mirror – bound, gagged and wearing a mask…

It is better to read my product Breath-Control beforehand.

Those who have mirrors in their playroom act in such a way that the victim also benefits from the aesthetic appeal of the bondage applied to him:

“When I see myself in the mirror – bound, gagged and wearing a mask – it feels like I’m standing outside my body looking at myself. That is the quintessence of voyeurism!”

But this spectacular aesthetic also inspires others. Or have you ever experienced a major leather or fetish event without a bondage show?

The sealing off of sensory impressions also plays a role: a blindfolded slave in chains under a mask develops other perspectives. The touch of fingers or other pain/pleasure instruments along the balls, cock, tits and various erogenous zones will be experienced much more intensely and gradually brings him to ecstasy.

Finally, there is the old debate about whether it is better to practise bondage dressed or undressed. The very question is wrong. If you think about whether you are a fetishist or not, you will automatically find your answer. Tie up a man in full leather gear, in rubber, in uniform, in pyjamas or in a jogging suit with sneakers – whatever turns you both on. You just have to remember that it complicates access to certain parts of the body 😏

The Master

Handcuffs, a cage, ropes, leather straps, a St. Andrew’s cross, masks, gags, straitjackets, rubber … an endless list of materials and techniques build up the world of bondage. It’s the consequence when it comes to reducing a man to the status of an object. However, the techniques alone doesn’t satisfy. If you ask bondage fans, you will immediately realise that words like fight, silence, ritual and ceremony also have a meaning. Bondage is a game with a high psychological component. A session without prior agreements and without a sensible staging will not get far.

But if you stick to a preliminary discussion, it can be enough to lead the victim into a room where all the instruments are ready, like in an adventure film – or in a film about the Inquisition.

And then calmly explain to him how all the toys that will be tested on him work!

This is especially important when you are dealing with beginners. You have to build up trust first. For example, show him how to use the ropes. This is something that many bondage masters miss out on. Show him what is possible, even the things you don’t need today. If you explain it to him in such a way that they will only be used another time, namely when your friend has really earned them!

Then let him feel the ropes. Place the ropes and chains on his skin, between his limbs, before the fun starts. Gradually tighten the ropes, but not too fast.

Last – not least – create a special atmosphere, e.g. through complete silence. The only rhythm is that of your breaths. Sometimes background music helps you to relax. Personally, I listen to quiet pieces, but a fast techno rhythm can also have its charm. You can further reduce the tension by describing what is happening, especially if your victim is blindfolded or lying on his/her stomach. Humiliate the kicking toy by telling him what you think of him.

One hint: don’t overdo it. Be as natural as possible. You don’t want the tied-up person to suddenly start giggling.

Once you have set up the scenery, you can start the real game.

A good tip for a more mental session is to link thumb cuffs with handcuffs and the feet with a chain. This prevents him from moving freely without restricting him completely. It also confuses his mind a little and allows a more intense session to follow – and promises you visual pleasure as you watch your toy’s futile attempts to free himself. He will probably resist the chains, but because his freedom of movement is so restricted, he is forced to accept them in the end – and learns to love them.

Loch-Gürtel
the infamous eyelet belt

Handcuffs or the infamous eyelet belt from a sex shop are very useful tools for this stage of the process.

From here you can progress to other bondage techniques. Japanese or “roast roll” restraints, mummification – at least for those who are a little better equipped. Then there are more advanced games like breath control – for the most experienced among you!

You can also vary the theme, and limit the ropes to a part of the body such as the cock and balls – or immobilise a specific body opening so that it is available for more in-depth work 😏

Don’t forget to take photos!

Avoid that your partner smells the roast (roll) too early. Leave him in the dark about which part of his body is supposed to fulfil your wishes. Maybe you will even excite him so much that he will allow you to exceed his limits for a short time!

The Master can also have a lot of fun by varying the knots and creating a new work of art every time. But: before you initiate a new knot, make sure you try it out on your own! You will look really stupid if you don’t know how to undo it afterwards.

Don’t forget to take photos. They can serve as inspiration for both of you for future games, or for yourself if you don’t have a victim at hand.

The slave

The role of the prey is also important, of course. If he is more experienced than the Master, it is up to him to excite and stimulate him, to bring the right amount of disobedience and the tone of voice that will create the results you hope from him. You should never confuse passivity with inertia. An experienced master will certainly not waste his time for long with someone who just lies there stiff as a board waiting for things to come. A good Bondage Master will do his best to get a reaction from his toy… sometimes going to extremely painful expense for a simple moaning!

You don’t have to be rich to live your bondage fantasies. Household accessories can also suffice. Who hasn’t seen a straight movie where the macho man ties his wife to the bed with pantyhose? Look at “China Blue”. The cop is handcuffed with his own handcuffs – by Kathleen Turner … an under-appreciated classic of the genre.

OK, I can understand that you don’t normally find tights in your household. But you should have similar material there. And if it is some good old handkerchiefs. Be careful with electric cables. You should not use them at all!

The best material are ropes. You can get them in any DIY store. But choose the material carefully. Too thin ropes will burn and cut. Your toy won’t beg for more if you hurt him seriously! But if the rope is too thick, you won’t be able to cut it quickly enough in an emergency. Wind it up carefully – otherwise you won’t look very sexy in front of your next lover. Read more about this in the post above.

For aesthetic reasons, you should stick to coloured ropes. Also remember that black ropes on black leather don’t look very good in photos unless you have a few thousand watts up your sleeve to light the scene.

Other useful and versatile bondage gear are leather straps. If you want to invest a little more money, you can get the safety harness of a telecommunicator. You can also try a mountaineer’s climbing harness – but it falls foul of fantasies – unless you’re into Sylvester Stallone in “Cliffhanger” or other extreme sports.

Edelstahl-Halskette
Chains can be very useful …

Chains can also be useful precisely because they are so cold on the skin. Their sound and especially their weight make a great impression on the tied-up toy. Likewise padlocks. They are a clear symbol and also sound very nice when they awill be locked. But the keys have to be stored carefully (maybe around the neck?). Combination locks are an even better solution – if you are able to remember the right combination.

Lastly, experts and perverts come back to tape and latex strips – after all, the dividing line between rope and mummification is very thin. That’s why the professionals among you are also banging down the doors of the medical goods trade – in search of the latest model of a psychiatric straitjacket.

You don’t have an Andreas cross yet? All you need is a hammer drill, a wall and four rings and you’re fully equipped.

One more thing: Unless you are an absolute expert and your partner trusts you 100%, you should not put a rope around anyone’s neck! “Hanging games” can go terribly wrong! Work through the workshop “Breath Control” in the blog beforehand.

Hals-Rücken-Fessel
Shoulder-to-wrist-restraint

It is best to buy one of the many leather harnesses with interconnected rings. In an emergency, a buckle is easier to undo than a knot and a collar won’t tighten when someone tries to get out of it. If your slave has sensitive skin, tie his hands with leather handcuffs. After all, he doesn’t want his work colleagues to know what he’s up to on the weekend. And lastly, if you really don’t know how to tie a secure knot, consult the Boy Scout handbook (or the post above). Also, make sure you have a sharp knife at hand and not grandma’s blunt tailor’s scissors!

Avoid such scenes even under the influence of chemical substances. You need all your five senses together. Therefore, it is extremely unwise to be under the influence of mind-altering drugs of any kind, and by that I also mean alcohol.

Another rule you should never forget is that painful dragged ropes distract the victim too much. He loses interest and will just lie there hoping that you will finish asap. Do not interrupt his blood circulation!

When working with a novice, start slowly and monitor his reactions carefully. If he asks you to wait a while, follow him. If he panics, stop everything, free him and above all, don’t show him when you are frustrated! Hug him to make him feel that maybe next time it will work, especially if you teach him to breathe deeply and calmly. He will then learn that he can master his panic. Then your ropes can become a form of relaxation for him – as effective as Zen or yoga!

Material: The yellow pages contain the addresses of DIY stores and sporting goods shops in your neighbourhood. The yellow pages also contain the addresses of more specialised shops such as medical department stores, saddleries or agricultural supplies. You can find a large selection of restraint harnesses here. You can also ask for help at a hardware store. Many local craftsmen will also be happy to help you!

Books: Of course sailor or sailing books, the boy scout manual – you can find everything about knots there. You don’t need to start with something complicated either. The simple knots also serve all purposes. The only thing you need is practice.

Epilogue:

These two texts are originally English-language articles that were published in “S&M magazines” in the nineties. At that time I translated them very freely, added parts I missed and now I have revised them again, brought them up to date and prepared them for our web shop. May they be useful to you.

Your Mike

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Breath Control 2022

Breath Control

The last temptation of experimental sexuality

What is Breath Control? A clarification of terms.

Cette série d’articles n’est malheureusement disponible qu’en allemand et en anglais. Il nous manque un traducteur pour une traduction en français. Si vous ne parlez aucune de ces deux langues et que vous voulez absolument lire ces articles, vous pouvez utiliser Google Translate ou DEEPL, qui sont actuellement les meilleurs traducteurs automatiques disponibles sur le marché.

If you type the term ‘Breath Control’ into Wikipedia, you will first be taken to a term clarification page where all the meanings of this term are linked. In this abstract, we will only discuss the use of breath control to achieve sexual satisfaction. If you expect something else here, please go back to the previous page.

breath control
menottes professionel

Just to get to the point: We are only talking about consensual sex between adults!

There is a wide range of breath control techniques. The simplest form is to close your partner’s mouth and nose with your hands. If you want to have them free for more interesting things, you might gag him with fabric tape or with a pump ball.

Some guys just like being bound and gagged and only being able to express their excitement by moaning softly through their nose. Others love to be wrapped from head to toe in cling film (mummification) – perhaps with convenient openings for penis, testicles and nipples.

Beatmungsbeutel
Insufflateur de reanimation

But breath control can not only provide a sensation at the moment of orgasm. It can also be stimulation by itself – for both sides! Some of us imagine in our wildest fantasies what it’s like to get overpowered and kidnapped by someone, only to wake up later tied up and blindfolded and subjected to ‘special treatment’.

Others get a thrill from doing this to someone.

Breath control can be done directly on your partner by using your hands (choking and homming/gomming), or you have tools such as ropes, belts or cloths for strangulation; foil, rubber, leather, plastic bags or tape for gagging. Devices such as (gas) masks, which closable openings, are also useful.

In the essay that accompanies this introduction, I will go through these ‘breath control techniques’ with you. You will learn about their possibilities, but also their limits and risks. Try them out with your partner and decide for yourself what is the hottest and safest for you. My list does not claim to be exhaustive. Just let your imagination wander and expand your knowledge. Maybe you’ll end up with completely new insights about your existence 😏

If you are a beginner, don’t let yourself be talked into something if you are not sure that you can reasonably judge the guy in front of you. By the way, this doesn’t only apply to sex. Even then it can still go wrong, but if you get blood circulation problems during such games – and that happens relatively often – you will be grateful having him immediately taking care of you, and not first for his pleasure!

Experiences, taboos and instructions for play

Breath Control
Neoprene gas mask

The neck is a very sensitive and especially an erogenous zone for most people. Pressure on certain regions of the neck can become one of the strongest sexual stimuli. The mental problem here is the link between sexuality and death – between fear and desire. This (and, of course, the instinct of self-preservation) makes it impossible for most of us to simply enjoy the excitement without barriers in the back of our minds. Therefore, we deny it and suppress our desire.

With this, most people throw away a unique form of sexual fulfilment!

Breath control is unquestionably of the most intense forms of sexual experience. You need absolute trust into your partner. And when I say ‘absolute’, I mean it! For a beginner, his worst nightmares can become true if someone handcuffs him and then start doing things to him that he don’t expect and may not even want.

Gasmasken Connector I
Connecteur pour masque à gaz I

This may sound hot to some people, and in the relevant one-handed literature it is often practised this way, freely according to the motto ‘The bitch will like it later!’. In practice you have to discuss such scenes with your partner beforehand! Because if you overstep the boundaries of his trust one time the play ends within a matter of seconds. On the other hand you can quickly get yourself a charge of coercion and I couldn’t even feel sorry for you!

Rules are the be-all and end-all of such a session. Only then the games I will talk about in the following really make sense and give pleasure to both sides!

I won’t go into any more detail here, because you are in the non adult section of this website. However, to this abstract belongs an extensive overview essay written by our author Mike Gorden in the nineties. It’s going so deep into the details that you should keep your hands with yourself while reading it. The essay teaches basic anatomical knowledge and shows exercises that will help you to get to know yourself, your partner and your needs better. The article is complemented by revealing testimonials.

This is about you and your partner(s), because the first and most important rule is:

Never play alone!

Note from the author:

Tu veux en lire plus ? Nous activons volontiers cet article (et de nombreux autres contenus un peu plus chaud) pour les clients réguliers enregistrés dans la boutique en ligne. Si tu n’as pas encore été activé, envoie-nous un e-mail à hm-leder@t-online.de. En règle générale, nous te débloquons dans les 24 heures et t’informons des détails.

I’m looking forward to seeing you

Your Mike

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Poppers

Poppers: Nitrite d’amyle et substances apparentées – une brève explication

Poppersflaschenhalter
Poches de poppers (HML Fetish)

“De toutes les drogues, les nitrites inhalables sont les plus proches des véritables aphrodisiaques”. Je n’ai rien à ajouter à cette phrase. Elle provient d’une publication scientifique solide, parue en 1982 aux États-Unis, qui s’appuie sur de nombreuses études et qui n’a rien perdu de son actualité.

Cependant, même 30 ans après ce travail révolutionnaire, la situation juridique est loin d’être simple. Il existe une bonne demi-douzaine de substances qui ont les effets du poppers. Le nitrite d’amyle, ou plus précisément le nitrite d’isopentyle, est l’une d’entre elles. En tant qu’ancien médicament délivré sur ordonnance, le nitrite d’amyle ne peut en fait être vendu qu’en pharmacie. D’après mes recherches de 2006, ce n’est plus le cas aujourd’hui. Aucun des composés de type poppers ne figure plus sur la »liste rouge« des médicaments autorisés en Allemagne.

Mais qui d’entre nous utilise le poppers comme médicament ? Bien sûr, nous l’utilisons uniquement comme arôme d’ambiance, nettoyant pour têtes d’argile, nettoyant pour cuir ou comme additif pour carburant d’avion miniature.

D’ailleurs, tout cela fonctionne vraiment, du moins si vous arrivez à contenir votre érection suffisamment longtemps !

Le poppers était autrefois inhalé en cas de troubles cardiaques aigus (angine de poitrine). Le monoxyde d’azote libéré dans l’organisme lors de sa dégradation provoque, en tant que neurotransmetteur, une forte baisse de la pression artérielle. Aujourd’hui, on utilise de la nitroglycérine ( !) comme médicament dans ces cas-là. Bien entendu, on ne mange pas de cartouches de dynamite, mais on prend des petites capsules. Le principe actif a le même effet de dilatation des artères coronaires, mais sans les effets secondaires qui nous font tant aimer ce produit.

Notre boutique en ligne contient toute une série de produits nécessaires autour, par exemple des livres spécialisés, des inhalateurs, des poches de ceinture et de la littérature d’initiation qui fournit l’excitation nécessaire lors du reniflage.

Poppers
Poppers (allemand)

Le nitrite d’amyle n’est présent que dans quelques variétés commerciales. Il s’agit entre autres de Jungle Juice Gold et Amsterdam. Les autres variétés contiennent généralement du nitrite de propyle ainsi que des mélanges avec d’autres composés et/ou arômes. La puissance des variétés dépend moins des ingrédients que de la forme du jour de l’utilisateur et de la température du liquide.

Étant donné que le principe actif réduit fortement la pression artérielle, il est préférable de ne pas en consommer si votre circulation sanguine n’est pas bonne ou si votre pression artérielle est naturellement trop basse. Dans le premier cas, vous vous exposez à d’horribles maux de tête. Mais vous pouvez aussi vous évanouir brièvement. Cela ne met pas votre vie en danger, mais c’est très désagréable, alors faites attention !

Contrairement à ce que l’on pourrait penser, il se conserve plusieurs années dans son emballage d’origine si vous le placez dans l’obscurité. Si vous avez ouvert la bouteille et que vous n’en avez pas besoin dans les six à huit semaines, vous pouvez la conserver hermétiquement fermée dans le réfrigérateur. Mais n’ouvrez pas ensuite la bouteille glacée !

Le poppers froid condense l’eau de l’humidité de l’air dans la bouteille (un effet de verre à bière inversé) et le principe actif se décompose en un bouillon marron malodorant en quelques jours. Donc, retenez votre excitation jusqu’à ce que la bouteille soit chaude (mais : ne la chauffez pas, sinon BOUM !). Cela en vaut la peine, car le poppers chaud à la main a un effet bien plus puissant que le poppers froid.

Poppersflaschenhalter
Poches de poppers

L’effet est encore plus fort (et plus adapté à son utilisation en tant qu’arôme d’ambiance) si vous répartissez quelques gouttes sur un morceau d’essuie-tout et gardez le papier dans un pot (de confiture) fermé. Cela durera quelques heures et, lorsque vous ouvrirez le couvercle, vous entendrez les angelots chanter si, par hasard, vous avez le nez dessus.

Certaines variétés, comme Rush, contiennent des petites billes de céramique qui peuvent retenir des traces d’eau. Mais n’en espérez pas trop. Si les billes ne sont plus qu’une substance visqueuse au fond de la bouteille, n’y touchez pas, car la bouteille n’était pas étanche. Cela arrive de temps en temps, même avec de bonnes variétés, car même les meilleures machines d’embouteillage ne sont pas parfaites.

Poppers Inhalator
Inhalateur de Poppers

Ne touchez pas non plus à l’embouteillage maison. Elles ne se conservent généralement pas longtemps, car les embouteilleurs (privés) ne peuvent pas travailler de manière suffisamment anhydre. Les installations nécessaires coûtent en effet rapidement des sommes à six chiffres ! Seuls les produits de marque scellés d’origine sont (généralement) suffisamment exempts d’eau.

Vous pouvez d’ailleurs vous fier à votre nez pour déterminer la qualité ! Si vous sentez une odeur de vieille chaussette à l’ouverture de la bouteille, cela signifie que le produit n’était pas propre ou sec. Le poppers propre n’a qu’une faible odeur fruitée ! L’odeur provient des produits de décomposition (alcool amylique = huile de fusel). Il ne vous reste plus qu’à vous débarrasser discrètement de la bouteille et de son contenu, car cela ne fonctionne plus.

Dans cet esprit, nous vous souhaitons beaucoup de plaisir à nettoyer vos têtes de lecture.
Mike Gorden (chimiste de son état)

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Le drapeau arc-en-ciel

Le drapeau arc-en-ciel

drapeau arc-en-ciel

a une longue tradition et servait dans beaucouop de cultures comme signe de la tolérance, de la diversité, de l’espoir et de l’ardeur. Cette signification base sur l’arc-en-ciel en tant que symbole de la promesse biblique. Depuis les années 70, le drapeau arc-en-ciel est un symbol gay et lesbien á échelle internationale. Dans ce contexte, on néglige sa signification originale pour une tolérance généralisée vers les hommes, les cultures, les réligions etc.

Le drapeau fut crée en 1978 par l’Américain Gilbert Baker. Il est concu en tant que symbole de la fierté gay et lesbienne ainsi que de la diversité de ce orientation sexuelle. A l’occasion des funérailles de l’actrice Judy Garland (aimée par la communauté et vivant elle-même en cachette dans une relation lesbienne) en 1969, quelques gays portèrent le drapeau arc-en-ciel en faisant allusion á l’une de ses chansons les plus connues: »Somewhere over the Rainbow« au sujet d’un endroit »où tout est meilleur et plus juste«. Si elle est aussi l’origine du drapeau arc-en-ciel est une question controversée, mais l’histoire a certainement influencé Baker dans sa création.

La version originale du drapeau ne comprenait que huit bandes en couleur. Le rose vif que Baker avait teint lui-même ne s’apprêtant pas à la production en masse, il fallait réduire le nombre des bandes à sept. Quand le drapeau deverait être utilisé lors des funérailles de Harvey Milk en novembre 1979, le comité d’organisation enlevait la bande turquoise aux fins de mieux répartir les couleurs le long de la route: trois couleurs à chaque côté de la rue. Dans un premier temps, le drapeau fût réproduit dans le sens inverse du violet au rouge. Ceci devrait souligner d’avantage l’être différent des homosexuels. Les feministes ayant choisi le violet comme couleur l’arc-en-ciel fût tourné commencant par le rouge.

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Godes

Godes

Godes
Ne partage pas tes gode ou plug avec qui que ce soit.

Ne partage pas tes gode ou plug avec qui que ce soit. Aussi social que cela puisse être, avant tout ce n’est pas hygiénique. Lave tes godes et plugs à l’eau tiède avec un peu de produit vaisselle ou de savon liquide, cela suffit. Pense á la sécher soigneusement avt de le ranger. Quelques clients nous ont rapporté qu’ils nettoyent leurs godes dans le lave-vaisselle. En dehors du fait que l’eau y est trop chaude, cela nous paraît relever d’im fétichisme particulier.

Pense à couvrir te gode d’une capôte. Ne l’utilise qu’avec des lubrifiants á base d’eau ou de silicone. Surtout n’utilise pas de Crisco. Conserve tes jouets préférés dans un endroit sec, aéré et à l’abri du soleil qui agresse la surface et la décolore.

Au bout d’un certain temps, le latex excrète une matiére blanche. Ceci est un filme de protection quasiment naturel qui n’est pas une raison pour se faire des soucis. Préchauffe ton matos un peu avant l’emploi. De l’eau tiède suffira – evite surtout les micro-ondes!

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BDSM

BDSM

BDSM

Ce que tu n’as osé imaginer que dans tes rêves les plus profonds, le voici devenu réalité. As-tu déjà espéré qu’il y ait quelqu’un qui connaisse tes fantasmes, qui lise sur tes lèvres tes désirs les plus intimes pour les réaliser ensuite – l’un après l’autre?

Tu dois te procurer toi-même le partenaire adéquat. Nous t’aidons volontiers à trouver le “comment”.

Sais-tu par exemple que l’on devrait aussi pratiquer le sexe sans risque avec des godes et des plugs ? C’est très simple : il suffit de mettre un préservatif sur ton jouet ! Cela te facilitera le nettoyage après coup et préservera la surface de ton jouet.

BDSM, qui signifie “bondage et sado-maso”, désigne un vaste domaine de jeux sexuels consentis, dans lesquels les partenaires se placent dans un rapport de force. L’un des partenaires renonce à son indépendance et se met entre les mains de l’autre. C’est à vous de décider de quelle manière le TOP, le DOM ou le MAÎTRE va continuer.

BDSM

Il est cependant très important, lors d’expériences plus profondes, de convenir d’un MOT D’ARRÊT, ou d’un signe, au cas où le sub ou l’esclave ne pourrait justement pas s’exprimer. Il est de la responsabilité particulière de la partie active de veiller à cela et, le cas échéant, d’arrêter lorsqu’elle se rend compte que sa contrepartie passive a atteint ses limites.

Le bondage ou les liens sont une partie importante de ces jeux. Que tu préfères utiliser des liens en cuir ou en caoutchouc, travailler avec des cordes ou simplement menotter ta “victime” et l’emmener, il y a là aussi des règles qu’il est important de connaître. Fais plutôt un peu de “théorie” avant de jouer, avant que le jeu ne se termine par des brûlures dues à des cordes tirées trop fort ou des doigts engourdis par un étranglement trop serré.

Dans cet esprit, nous vous souhaitons beaucoup de plaisir à jouer à ce jeu génial

Votre équipe HML.

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Cock-rings

Cock-rings

Cock-rings

Il y a plein de raisons pour porter cock-rings. Tout d’abord, cela donne un look ‘enfer. Et puis il y a cette sensation de la queue et des couilles serrés comme si quelqu’un d’autre les tenait fermement. Les cock-rings et cock-straps procurent une erection plus dure et prolongée en empéchant le reflux du sang. Et i n’y a pas mal de mecs qui disent que leurs orgasmes en sont intensifiés.

Voilà une astuce pour mettre et enlever un cock-ring:

1. Passe lea peau de tes couilles par l’anneau.
2. Puis fais passer les cuilles une par une.
3. Finalement tu y fais passer la queue.

C’est simple. Pour l’enlever, tu passe par les trois points en sens inverse: La queue d’abord, puis les couilles et pour finir la peau.

Cock-rings

Il est ABSOLUMENT ESSENTIEL que tu ne choisisses pas un anneau trop étroit. Pour avoir un bon point de repère, tu mesures la circonférence autour de la bese de tes queue et couilles et divises le résultat par trois pour obtenir le diamètre du cock-ring dont tu as besoin. Surtout évite de choisir un cock-ring considérablement plus étroit! Les histoires qu’en raconte mon infirmier préféré aux urgences sont assez désenchantantes….

Si jamais to cock-ring se revéle trop petit ti t’en rendras rapidement compte. De l’eau glacée te sera alors utile et t’évitera avec un peu de chance la visite aux urgences.